Open your homepage. Don't scroll. Look at the first thing on the screen and ask one question: could a stranger tell what you do?
A lot of small business sites fail this. The big headline says "Welcome to Smith & Sons." Or "Quality You Can Trust." Or, my favorite, "Your Vision, Our Passion." It sounds fine. It tells you nothing.
The job of that first screen
Someone clicked a search result or a link a friend sent. They have no idea if you're the right place. They're not going to read your About page to find out. They'll glance at the top, decide, and either stay or hit back.
So the headline has one job. Say what you do and where, in words your customer would use. That's it.
Bad and better
- "Welcome to Maria's Studio" becomes "Wedding and family photography in Cherry Hill."
- "Quality Craftsmanship Since 1998" becomes "Kitchen and bathroom remodeling in South Jersey. Licensed and insured."
- "Your Wellness Journey Starts Here" becomes "Deep tissue and sports massage, by appointment, downtown Camden."
- "Fresh. Local. Delicious." becomes "Family-run Italian restaurant. Dinner Tuesday through Sunday."
The better versions are less poetic. They're also the only ones that answer the question in someone's head, which is "do these people do the thing I need?"
Why the clever version loses
Clever headlines make sense if you already know the business. You do. Your visitor doesn't. They're comparing you against a few other tabs, and the one that says plainly what it does wins the glance.
There's a side benefit. Google reads that headline too. If your page says "remodeling in South Jersey" in plain text near the top, it has something to work with. If it says "Your Vision, Our Passion," it has nothing.
A quick way to write it
Fill in this sentence: "I help [who] with [what] in [where]." Then delete "I help" and tidy it up. You'll usually land somewhere decent on the first try.
Under the headline, add one line with the next step. A phone number, a "Request a quote" button, whatever you actually want people to do. If they have to hunt for it, some of them won't.
Test it on a friend
Show someone your homepage for five seconds, then take it away. Ask what you do and whether they'd know how to reach you. If they hesitate, the headline isn't done.
In Cantrip it's a few seconds of editing: open your home page, click the top section, change the text. No code, nothing to rebuild. The hard part is deciding to say it plainly, and you can do that today.